super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
