my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I wear drunk well.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
