smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
