So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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