Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
