You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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