dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
