Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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