I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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