i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
