hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just had sex on a roof
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
