Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
