so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
