You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
