your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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