just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
