Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Text me some of your sweat
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
