You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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