I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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