It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
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he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
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It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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