...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
