She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We left an ass print on the piano.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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