I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
