White coat. Heels.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
