I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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