are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
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She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
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I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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