he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Damn victory sex feels great
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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