Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize