just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize