I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
