I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
did i just pee glitter
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