Just fell off a train. Bad.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
