There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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