I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize