Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
