That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
