Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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