duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
