it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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