she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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