Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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