Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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