i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
