His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Every concussion has its silver lining
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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