new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
