saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize