Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize