She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
