Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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