just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
