What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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