WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
