I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize