Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
