Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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