You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
