pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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