new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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